ATLANTA!

so excited to go to atlanta next week and get away from EVERYONE and EVERYTHING in this dumb fucking town. it is going to be great.  i have been working everyday which is good so i dont have to be around the people i really dont want to be haha. but things have been changing for the better pretty much.. nothing is going to be back to the way they used to be.. i mean it sucks that our friendship had to end like this. we were such good friends for over a year. then you stop talking to me for no reason and i continuously try to fix it. and then you confess your "love" for me, hook up with me, and leave me with lies, a disease, and absolutely everything i thought was "real" just to shit.  you really fucked me over hard. but i dont care because its not like it hasnt happened before.. i just wish some people could realize how much of an asshole they really are. Buttttt off to work again! sweet cant wait, not. but today is a beautiful day! wish i could be outside 

infinite.

wow where to even begin.  nothing ever fucking makes sense right? i mean absolutely nothing.  nothing is ever fair, nothing ever goes the way you want.  everything is fake, just fake.  people are fake, the world is fake.  once you can escape your own ego, you can realize you dont need fakeness in your life.  nothing matters anymore, its just you and that is it.  there is nothing to hold you back from doing whatever the fuck you want.  i have never trusted anyone in my entire life, and i dont plan on it either.  for the simple fact that there has never been one person who hasnt fucked me over.  i mean i could care less, people are so shitty.  i just wish i could meet someone like me.  like i feel i am so different than anyone else i know.  seriously, i guess im fucking weird or something.. but no one understands me at all, and i cant get along with anyone.  i feel so outcasted because i cant relate to anyone, or not get annoyed by anyone.  theres so much drama and anger and nonsense everywhere it is so fucking overwhelming.  it would be awesome for people to realize that it dosent matter, and theres so much more to just living, than to have to lie, fuck people over, and just be a piece of shit.  like just fucking live, be happy, and chill out. do you know how much more interesting and enjoyable life would be. christ, why is that so hard, to just not be an asshole. i really dont get it because since im not like that at all, its hard to understand how people are like that. but what i dont understand the most is how i never do shit to anyone, never do anything to harm a single person.. and i get fucked over for every single action i do, and i mean every fucking thing. i honestly dont deserve it at all. as much as i can complain about everything thats bad in my life, it doesnt matter. i dont choose for these things to happen to me, they just do.  they happened and theres no going back, so i seriously should not waste my time complaining about them.. that is something i really should work on. i want to live a different life.  i dont want to go to college and get a career that im not even interested in.  i dont want to get married and have kids, and live the life that every single person in this world lives.  everyone is programmed to fulfill the exact same thing in life. i want to do something different, teach people that there are other ways of living, and more to your life than just having a job and making money.  fuck money, its so overrated.  its fake anyways. i just want to travel the whole world, just do things that are fun, have fun, thats all.  i dont need money, i dont need a car, i dont need valuables.  and i especially dont need any man in my life to bring me down, fuck me over, make me depressed.   if you think about it, that is all guys do, not even kidding.. they are programmed to all be the exact fucking same.  they can be enjoyable at times, a good time once and a while, make you feel good about yourself every once and a while.. but they are constantly fucking with you, lying to you, making you feel like shit. they are completely unnecessary.. i just want to go listen to good music, and feel good.  have no worries, just live infinitely.  soon everything will be in its right place.  soon my life will just fit together naturally, the way its supposed to be. i will no longer care, i wont even think to care anymore.  i am just here, stuck in this body, and i cant fucking get out.  i want out, but i dont have the answer on how yet. until then, i will make the best out of what i can, and just fucking live happily.