not enough space in my head

so when is anything going to get better? i honestly do not know what is so wrong with me.. i am not some psychotic ugly fuck.. things are always the same, always turn out the same way.  you want a guy, you cant have him. well thats how it is for me anyways.. i really do not understand one bit.. i am slowly starting to realize that all guys are identical... but they still weird the shit out of me.. i know it is not all about looks.. but come on that has to play some part? and im not trying to sound conceited at all because i am No where near that at all.. i know i am a good person, i have natural beauty. and people even tell me that.. but yet every single guy fucks me over. i always just feel so low and used and worthless all the time.. i never show this side to anyone though. i always 'act' happy as shit and like nothings bothering me even though i always have a million billion things running through my head at the same time.  i couldnt even go to sleep till 6 am because i cant control my thoughts.. like they never stop.. piled on top of having to live with a family of addicts does not make it any better.. how i have turned out the way i did, i still have no idea to this day.  i am so good at making other people get over their problems or feel better about themselves or shit like that.. but i could never help myself..i can never make myself happy just by myself.  i just feel like there is something significantly missing from my life.. which makes me go back to thinking that we were just made to have someone in your life to share a relationship with.. and i think that that is the one thing i need.. its actually so true.. all my problems relate back to the fucking guys.. and if i could only manage to find someone it would just make everyyything better? what the fuck man, i feel like i dont even know.. i also feel so lame that i have to resort to this to get my feelings out, not like anyone even knows i exist on here or knows me.. but just to get one more thing out.. it kind of pisses me off when someone spits all their game at you, and then has to tell your friends their not into you. hm maybe because you JUST hooked up with me, and didnt even take the time to get to know me.. like we party together and thats it.. we dont actually chill and shit you know? like how the fuck can you tell that you have no attraction to me when you dont know me at all.. you try to act all mature and shit since youre 21, but that honestly does not mean shit. okay fuck, i need to stop, like i hate hate hate this feeling i have right now. i dont want to feel this way at all, i dont know why guys can make you feel this way.. but whatever fjhgshiuhhverhbihrebiurk